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現(xiàn)代男女享受柏拉圖式戀愛關(guān)系

來源：泰然健康網(wǎng) 時(shí)間：2024年11月27日 02:18

導(dǎo)語：這是《環(huán)球時(shí)報(bào)》英文版的一篇文章，其中有些采訪我的內(nèi)容。（潘鳴）

友情英文翻譯：賈祎

Males and females are happy being in platonic relationships

By Zhang Yihua Source:Global Times Published: 2016/10/18 18:38:39

作者：Zhang Yihua ：轉(zhuǎn)載自環(huán)球時(shí)報(bào) 2016/10/18 18:38:39

Some men and women are happy just being good friends. Experts say, it is risky for best friends to turn into couples.

部分男女對(duì)于男女之間只作為朋友相處的狀態(tài)感到滿足。專家指出，對(duì)于要好的朋友來說要轉(zhuǎn)做情侶是十分冒險(xiǎn)的。

Charlotte Song, a 24-year-old human resource specialist in Beijing, was bored when she overheard some of her colleagues gossiping about why Yang Zi, 24, a Chinese actress, and Zhang Yishan, 24, a Chinese actor, had not become lovers after being very good friends since they were teenagers. "Really, such a fuss," she said.

宋女士，24歲，一位來自北京的人力資源專家，表示她對(duì)于同事們八卦：24歲的中國影星楊紫和同樣24歲的中國影星張一山，這一對(duì)青梅竹馬為何還未成為戀人，感到十分厭煩。

A sequel to Home With Kids, a 2005 hit drama that Yang and Zhang co-starred in when they were 13 years old, is beginning production and a lot of people are discussing the relationship between the two stars.

家有兒女，2005年大熱的電視劇，由13歲的楊紫和張一山主演，今年再度開機(jī)。許多人在討論他們二人目前的感情現(xiàn)狀。

Song does not understand why so many people think there must be something romantic going on between two friends of the opposite sex and that it would be unbelievable if they do not turn into lovers.

宋女士不理解為何許多人認(rèn)為異性朋友之間一定會(huì)存在曖昧關(guān)系，如果異性朋友最終不能轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)榍閭H是不可置信的事情。

She and her male friend Jack Zhang have been best friends for more than 10 years. "We never tried to be lovers and are still happy together."

她與她的異性朋友張先生已是超過10年的摯友。“我們從未試圖變成戀人關(guān)系，我們以朋友狀態(tài)相處十分開心。”

According to her, from university, they each began to date. Most of the time, she has her boyfriend and Zhang has his girlfriend. There were times when they were both single, but even then, they were still best friends.

據(jù)她描述，從大學(xué)時(shí)代開始，他們就各自有男女朋友。大部分時(shí)候，她有她的男朋友，張先生也有他的女朋友。有些時(shí)候他們兩人都是單身狀態(tài)，但就算那個(gè)時(shí)期，他們也仍然處于好朋友狀態(tài)。

However, she conceded that she once had the thought that it might be nice for them to become lovers.

但是，她也承認(rèn)她曾經(jīng)動(dòng)念頭覺得他們成為戀人可能也挺好的。

"After all, we know each other well. He can tell what I'm thinking just from my eyes and I can tell from his," she said. "But I was afraid that if we did become lovers but broke up, I would lose my best friend at the same time."

“畢竟，我們對(duì)彼此非常了解。我們能僅從彼此的眼神中就知道對(duì)方的想法，”她說道?！暗液ε乱坏┪覀兂蔀閼偃瞬⑶曳质至?，我會(huì)同時(shí)失去我最好的朋友?！?/p>

Besides this, she did not make her move because she did not have the feeling of falling in love when they were together. "When we hang out together, my heart does not beat as fast as it did as when I dated my exes," she said. "I guess, maybe we are more like family to each other."

除此之外，她并未朝戀人的方向發(fā)展是因?yàn)樗屯跸壬谝黄饡r(shí)并未有戀愛的感覺。“我們一起出去的時(shí)候，我的心并不像我和前任男友約會(huì)時(shí)那樣跳的厲害，”她說到?！拔蚁?，我們可能對(duì)彼此來說更像是家人?！?/p>

There have been many debates on the Internet concerning whether there is pure friendship between men and women, but opinions are divided.

在網(wǎng)上有許多關(guān)于男女之間是否存在純粹友誼的爭(zhēng)論，但觀點(diǎn)是大相徑庭的。

According to Pan Ming, a psychologist and founder of Yiming Psychological Counseling Center based in Qingdao, Shandong Province, no pure friendship exists between men and women from a biological standpoint. He said, even if there is, it may be temporary and tends to evolve into a romantic relationship.

潘鳴，是來自青島的一位心理咨詢專家，也是一鳴心理咨詢中心的創(chuàng)建人。他認(rèn)為從生物學(xué)角度來說男女之間不存在純粹的友誼。他說道，即使真的存在，也只是暫時(shí)性的并且仍會(huì)朝曖昧關(guān)系方向發(fā)展。

However, he added, from an ethical perspective, if the two parties cherish their friendship and do not surrender themselves to emotional impulses, it is likely that the pure friendship can be maintained.

但是，他補(bǔ)充道，但從道德角度來說，如果男女雙方珍惜彼此的友誼，并且不向內(nèi)在的感情沖動(dòng)所屈服，那么純粹的友誼關(guān)系還是可以被維持的。

Pan said although best friends turning into couples has an advantage as they have had a good understanding of each other, which is the basis of a stable relationship or marriage, it is at the same time risky.

潘說道，由從朋友轉(zhuǎn)變而來的情侶是很有優(yōu)勢(shì)的，因?yàn)殡p方對(duì)于彼此已經(jīng)有著良好的了解，這對(duì)于一段穩(wěn)定的感情或是婚姻來說是基石，但同時(shí)也存在著潛在危機(jī)。

According to him, a romantic relationship is harder to sustain than friendship. "The two parties need to prepare themselves for any possible twists and turns. Also, they will have different expectations for each other as they turn into a couple, and if they are not fully prepared for the challenges, they can easily feel disappointed."

他認(rèn)為，戀愛關(guān)系相對(duì)于友誼來說更難維持。“雙方需要為戀愛關(guān)系中可能出現(xiàn)的跌宕起伏做好心理準(zhǔn)備。同時(shí)，由于轉(zhuǎn)變成為情侶雙方對(duì)于對(duì)方的期許會(huì)出現(xiàn)改變，如果雙方?jīng)]有準(zhǔn)備好應(yīng)對(duì)這些挑戰(zhàn)，那么他們很容易就會(huì)感到失望。”

Song feels relieved that she did not try to turn her friendship into a romance because she knew she was not ready for being anything other than a best friend.

She conceded that if she rushed into it, she might feel very disappointed if he ever fails to meet her expectation for a good boyfriend, and she may lose him for good if things go wrong.

宋女士感到慶幸她沒有試圖將友誼轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)閼賽?，因?yàn)樗浪约簩?duì)于除了朋友外其他身份并未做好心理準(zhǔn)備。她坦言如果她急于走入戀愛關(guān)系，如果對(duì)方?jīng)]有達(dá)到她對(duì)于一個(gè)好的男朋友的期許，她會(huì)感到非常失望，并且如果關(guān)系出現(xiàn)問題她將永遠(yuǎn)的失去對(duì)方。

"Now, as best friends, we are always happy together because we do not fight about failing to live up to the other's standard for a good boyfriend or girlfriend," said Song. "I think we are better off just being good friends."

“目前，作為好朋友，我們?cè)谝黄饡r(shí)永遠(yuǎn)都是開心的，因?yàn)槲覀儾槐貫榱藢?duì)方?jīng)]有達(dá)到自己心中對(duì)于好男友或好女友的期許而爭(zhēng)執(zhí)，”宋女士說道?！拔艺J(rèn)為我們處于朋友關(guān)系對(duì)于彼此是最好的選擇?！?/p>

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